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From: <>< hysteria
dear mr. bantock,
i am writing to see how my elephant is doing. i hope that you are treating it well and feeding it many sardines and saltines (as elephants are prone to eating only sardines and saltines especially on tuesdays).
in any case, i have been known to trap whole entire peoples in my room and force them at lamp-point to read the trilogy. (yes. this of course, is very dangerous--both for the lamp and myself).
be well, a.